Why Travel Lights A Fire In My Belly & Why I Need To Keep Going

For a significant part of my life, my world has revolved around caring for others. I don’t regret that – not for a second. But somewhere in the constant rhythm of giving, planning and making sure everyone else was okay, I lost the habit of checking in with myself.

When I turned forty, something shifted. I invited a group of friends to join me for a stand-up paddleboard (SUP) adventure and while it might sound dramatic, that experience changed me. It was the first time in years that I felt the spark of doing something just for me – something adventurous, something fun, something that filled my cup in a way I hadn’t realised I needed so badly.

Since then, I haven’t looked back. I’ve been chasing experiences that light me up from the inside. I’ve been saying “yes” to adventure and prioritising my own emotional needs.

And honestly? It’s been life-changing.

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Learning to let go

Recently, my psychologist referred to me as a “perfectionist-over controller.” She read out the definition and described the traits and as I listened, I couldn’t help but laugh – it was like she was reading my biography.

I’ve known for years that I carry those traits, but to hear it labelled was oddly comforting. It made me realise: this is a thing. It’s not just me. There are other people who feel the need to manage, plan and control – often to the point where it’s exhausting, both for us and sometimes for those around us.

If I’ve ever upset someone because of that, I truly am sorry. It’s never from a bad place – it’s from wanting to make sure everything works out, that nothing goes wrong, that no one gets hurt. But the truth is, control can become heavy.

Travel is my antidote to that.

When I’m away from home, I can’t micromanage everything. I can’t keep my hands on the steering wheel at all times. I’m forced to trust the process – to let go and be okay with the unknown. That’s hard for me, but it’s also freeing.

Why it matters

Time away – whether it’s an overseas trip, a weekend adventure, or just a day doing something for myself – isn’t indulgent. It’s essential. It’s how I recharge, how I reconnect with who I am outside of my roles at home and work.

For me, adventure fills the emotional gaps that everyday life can’t. It reminds me that I’m more than the responsibilities I carry. It helps me loosen my grip on the things I think I need to control. And it sets an example for my family: that self-care isn’t selfish, that it’s okay to step away and breathe.

To the women who need to hear this

If you’re a mum, a caregiver, or someone who spends most of their energy looking after everyone else – I see you. I know what it feels like to think your worth is tied to keeping it all together.

But you deserve things that are just for you. You deserve adventures that light you up, moments that make you smile for no reason and space to breathe without feeling guilty.

Your emotional health matters. Your mental health matters.

Sometimes the best thing you can do – for yourself and for everyone around you – is to let go of the reins for a while and let the world surprise you.

So go. Book the trip. Say yes to the adventure. Fill your cup. And if you need someone to remind you you’re not alone in this – you’ve just found her.