The guilt you feel booking a trip without your partner and kids

I’ve lost count of how many women have messaged me some version of the same question: “Is it selfish to go on this trip without my partner and kids?”

I still remember standing in the airport before one of my own trips, phone in hand, half-expecting a text from my boys that probably wasn’t coming (it rarely does – more on that later). Leaving my husband to hold down the fort at home too, not just the kids, that’s its own particular flavour of guilt. That flicker of “should I really be doing this” doesn’t go away just because you’ve done it before.

Here’s the truth – the guilt doesn’t come from actually leaving. It comes from the ten seconds before you book the flight, when you’re still deciding whether you’re allowed to want this. You are.

Taking a break from the school run, the packed lunches and the mental load of running a household doesn’t make you a worse mum or a worse partner. If anything, most women come home from solo travel more patient, more present and considerably less likely to snap at someone over a missing school jumper. Stepping back, even briefly, tends to make you better at the roles you never clocked off from in the first place.

But “you’re allowed to go” and “here’s how you actually pull it off” are two different conversations. So let’s have the second one.

How to plan solo travel without your partner and kids – the logistics

Before you even look at flights, get the practical scaffolding sorted. It’s what turns “terrifying” into “exciting.”

Make sure your partner has what they need to run the household solo. They probably know less of the day-to-day detail than you’d think, so hand over more than you assume you need to. If your kids are in that tricky tween-to-teen bracket, it’s worth having a backup adult (a grandparent, a trusted friend) who can step in if your partner’s stuck at work or something comes up. Independence is great right up until someone can’t find the school permission slip.

If your partner works full-time, that’s not a reason to shelve the idea. Most workplaces can flex around a week or two with enough notice, whether that’s working from home more, shifting a big project, or taking some leave to match your dates. It’s worth having that conversation early rather than assuming it’s not possible. If full flexibility isn’t on the cards, that’s exactly what a backup adult is for, so the load isn’t sitting entirely on them while you’re away.

Set up one shared family calendar. Everyone’s after-school activities, appointments and “mum, I need $20 for excursion money by Friday” moments live in one place. This alone prevents more chaos than any packing list ever will.

Leave a proper itinerary behind, not a vague one. Flight numbers, hotel bookings, and emergency contacts, printed or saved somewhere your family can find without needing your phone passcode. It’s not paranoid, it’s just sensible, the same way you’d want a colleague to know your itinerary for a work trip.

Sort your travel insurance before anything else. This is the one logistics step women skip and regret. I only ever recommend Cover-More – I’ve been on the receiving end of their claims process myself and it was genuinely easy at a time I really needed it to be. If you’re doing anything adventurous on your trip, double check your policy has Adventure Activities cover; a lot of credit card insurance quietly excludes it.

The mum guilt bit (let’s actually talk about it)

There’s a particular flavour of guilt that seems to only turn up for mothers. Dads take a boys’ trip and it’s “well deserved.” Mums plan a week away from their partner and kids and somehow have to justify it like they’re defending a thesis.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for wanting a week that’s entirely your own. Your kids will be fine. Your partner will be fine too, probably more capable than you’re giving him credit for. They might even learn that Dad does know where the school hat lives, or that his version of dinner some nights is a genuine upgrade. Time apart isn’t a rupture, it’s just… time apart. Families survive it constantly, in both directions.

Staying connected without staying on call

You don’t need to be reachable every minute to feel connected and you definitely don’t need a response to know you’re getting through.

My boys don’t reply to much when I’m away and I’ve made peace with that. What I do instead is keep sending – a photo of something they’d laugh at, a video of a weird local snack, a quick “you’d hate this hike” message. They see it even when they don’t say anything back. It’s less about the conversation and more about staying present in their world while I’m off having a different one. They know I’m thinking of them and honestly, that’s most of what they need from me.

With my husband, it works differently, because he’s the one actually holding things together at home. I keep him properly in the loop – what I’m up to, the highs and the challenges, not just the highlight reel. I check in on how things are going his end and whether the kids need to hear from me directly about anything. That’s the bit people forget – you can still parent from afar. A five-minute call about homework or a permission slip doesn’t need you to be standing in the kitchen.

The goal isn’t to recreate your at-home availability from a cooking class in Malaysia. It’s to feel confident that if something did go sideways, you’d know quickly and so would they.

Why group travel for women makes this so much easier

Once the logistics are sorted, the only thing left is choosing where you’re going and who you’re going with. This is, frankly, the fun part.

Travelling solo doesn’t have to mean travelling alone. That’s exactly why Travel Her Way exists – small group adventures for Australian women who understand precisely why you needed this trip, no explanation required. You get the guilt-free break without the logistics of planning it solo and a group of women who get it without you having to justify a single thing.

If you’ve been sitting on the idea of a trip without your kids, without your partner, without anyone needing anything from you for a stretch of days, join the list here and I’ll send you what’s coming up – including where the next Travel Her Way adventure is heading. You’ve earned this. Go book it.